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The Baltimores From the
Illinois Entertainer, December 1997
Baltimores, Plastico Del Mundo (Kingsize Platters)
If you found a bunch of musically accomplished five
year-olds, let them pick their favorite instruments from the toy chest, force-fed them
chocolate milk and Snickers Bars, and then let Chuck Uchida record the whole mess, you
might get close to the effect of The Baltimores. Plastico Del Mundo is a fittingly quirky
debut release for Pulsar Dave Trumfio's record label Kingsize Platters. The Baltimores,
make up of personnel from musically eccentric bands like The Howards, The Blue Meanies,
Flavor Channel, and Chia Pet, are to pop music what worm holes are to the Starship
Enterprise. The ultra-nerd rock of "Dance Pants" is all spiky metallic needles
of sound, driving totally distorted vocals that sound like they were recorded through a
Jack-In-The-Box drive-thru speaker. "Chicken Had A Dream" is a breezy,
Latin-tinged lounge tune that sounds like updated Martin Denny, with a killer/kazoo/guitar
solo and lyrics that include references to a Jacques Tati film festival. Beneath all of
this weirdness lies some rather impressive playing and musical notions. With the passing
of outsider geniuses like Zappa and Sun Ra, it's heartwarming to find a band that is not
afraid to try and pick up the freak flag. Wave on.
- Murray M. Coffey
From the CMJ New Music Report, Issue 555, Feb 2,
1998
Baltimores, Plastico Del Mundo
We're fairly certain that at the heart of this warped
five-piece there lurks a perfectly normal, if somewhat dysfunctional, ska/punk band band
waiting to get out. However, considering the psychotic weirdness evident on Plastico Del
Mundo, its imminent escape ain't likely. The Baltimores are way too whacked to allow their
music to be squeezed into more traditional formats. Instead, they have surrendered to
their madcap creative instinct, letting the party come tumbling from their skulls at top
speed. Banjo, Farfisa, theremin, Stratocaster, sax and bike horns all combine to form a
churning, funky sound that heads straight for the feet after tickling the funny-bone.
Songs like "Dance Pants" and "Gravity" showcase the Baltimore's
Ween-like ability to turn silly nonsequiturs into muscular, potent imagery. "Your
Sorry Ass" floats on a groove akin to, believe it or not, early Chicago -- all '70s
cheese and smooth -- but the tune's goofy vocals and strong bass accents forge an
undeniable intensity. Maximum lunatic potential is achieved on "Thunda Bug",
"Northern Lights" and "3 Martini Lunches", a fire-breather about the
trial and tribulations of psychiatric lockdown.
- Greg Corrao
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